This Chick Nose What's Up

Woman charged with biting ex's nose
Feb. 1, 2011 The Associated Press


HIRAM — A 22-year-old Maine woman is being charged with nearly biting off the nose of her ex-boyfriend.

Shanan M. Loud of Hiram was charged following the Friday incident.

Police say Loud assaulted her ex-boyfriend because she believed he had become involved with her half sister.

A report says the victim's "right nostril and end of his nose" were being held on by only a small flap of skin.

The Sun Journal newspaper says Loud is also charged with biting his throat and attacking a minor.

Loud appeared in court Monday. She did not enter a plea to two assault charges. Bail was set at $1,000. She's due in court again in May.

Clearly the correct course of action when you suspect infidelity is to attack him like a wolverine.

A Short Walk in Another's Shoes

Stripper charged with using shoe in attack
By David Hench dhench@mainetoday.com
Staff Writer


PORTLAND — One stripper was charged with felony assault for attacking another with a stiletto shoe.

Portland police were called to PT's Show Club on Riverside Street at 11:30 p.m. Saturday night for a report of a fight.

Officers found that a scuffle had broken out between two dancers. Camile Robenek, 30, of South Portland had allegedly pushed Nerlend Previlon, 25, of Malden, Mass., to the floor, police said.

Previlon got up swinging one of her high-heel shoes, hitting Robenek in the head and face. Robenek was taken to Maine Medical Center where she was treated for facial injuries and released. She also was issued a summons to appear in court on a charge of simple assault.

Previlon was charged with aggravated assault, accused of using a weapon in the melee.

The police report did not indicate the reason for the fight.

Guarantee you all of the guys were confused as to if it was a real fight or if it was part of the show.

Burger King Does Part to Help State Obvious

A small Maine town experienced a severe shortage of common sense early Monday morning. Town sources say the shortage is should be over soon, but in the meantime, they are excited that Burger King has burgers.

Text From Last Night

(207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

(603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

http://tfl.nu/kd7y

Someone Please Kill Ralphie

Maine Moronic teen uses Christmas Present to Shoot Cars
Published January 21, 2011

OLD TOWN - Maine—Police say a Maine teen who received a pellet gun for Christmas used the gun to take potshots at passing cars from his porch.

Old Town police say the 14-year-old boy shot at least four vehicles, including a brand-new 2011 pickup truck owned by the Penobscot Indian Nation Warden Service.

Police Sgt. Travis Roy said that after receiving multiple reports of damage, he started going door to door. He says that at one of the homes he discovered that a boy had received a high-powered pellet gun for Christmas. He says the boy confessed.

Roy tells the Bangor Daily News says the shooter had a typical teen response when asked why he did it: The teen said he was "bored."

I know there isn't much to do in Maine, but in my house we shoot squirrels when we are bored, not 2011 trucks owned by the Warden Service. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll shoot his eye out.

FMyLife

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

Posted at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)
LINK

Haha. Burn.

Governor LePage keeps it classy

Maine gov. tells NAACP to 'kiss my butt'
Published: Jan. 15, 2011

He WHAT?!!

AUGUSTA, Maine, Jan. 15 (UPI) -- Maine Gov. Paul LePage said the NAACP could "kiss my butt" when he was asked why he was not attending any events for Martin Luther King Day.

The governor's remark -- "Tell 'em to kiss my butt" -- triggered angry comments from other groups, the Portland Press Herald reported Friday.

"The governor's comments are creating, have the potential to create, a real racial dilemma for all Mainers," said Ralph Carmona, a spokesman for the United League of Latin American Citizens. "It is astonishing and troubling he would use this kind of rhetoric."

During the campaign, LePage, who was inaugurated this month, was seen in a video telling an audience at a Republican forum he would tell President Barack Obama to "go to hell."

LePage, a Republican who had Tea Party backing, told a reporter after a meeting in Sanford the NAACP is a "special interest."

"They are a special interest," he said. "End of story. And I'm not going to be held hostage by special interests. And if they want, they can look at my family picture. My son happens to be black, so they can do whatever they'd like about it."

"I don't care who he's got in his family," Rachel Talbot Ross, the group's state director and president of the Portland branch, told the Press Herald. "And he's saying we're playing the race card? The makeup of his family isn't the issue and it never was the issue."


Hey, I didn't vote for him. Cooincidentally, neither did 62% the state.

A Couple Towns Over From Our Capital, A Gem Is Found

Hussey's General Store

"If We Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It"

Available products include fresh pork chops, fresh sirloin tips, wedding shoes, wedding gowns, furniture, garden hoes, sporting goods, hunting gear, and packaged groceries.

Harland Hussey opened his grocery business in October 1923, when he remodeled an old stable. He recalls the "good old days" when obtaining merchandise was a problem. "Of the two I prefer the new days, " Hussey says, "if only for the transportation."

So, he created a one-stop shop for all your shopping needs. Today the store is home to over 30,000 square feet of groceries, sporting goods, clothing, formal gowns, hardware and appliances. Yessah.


510 Ridge Road
P O Box 81
Windsor, ME 04363
(located at the intersection of Routes 32 and 105)

Text From Last Night

(207): She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
http://tfl.nu/dswf

She doesn't know Orloff vodka is only $6.99 at The Big Apple?